


Thirty-two Days Since Titan

by Plane_Lord



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Iron Dad, Light Spoilers Mostly from Trailers, Not Beta Read, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Speculation, Spoilers, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, based on that picture, but hopefully i caught most major errors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-04 09:30:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18601774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plane_Lord/pseuds/Plane_Lord
Summary: After returning from space Tony is still recovering. He's trying to move past losing to Thanos and focus on the things he does have, but the loss of Peter Parker isn't something he can put behind him so easily. Reminders are everywhere.





	Thirty-two Days Since Titan

**Author's Note:**

> Hi,  
> So, I wanted to write this since I saw the picture in the trailer. It's a bit angsty and might have a few spoilers, I'm working through some feelings, okay? I'm hoping it will still be mostly canon-compliant, though I haven't seen Endgame yet... I love these two together and I know Marvel is about to break my heart, again. Feedback always appreciated.  
> (Originally posted April 25, 2019)
> 
> (Updated, edited April 27, 2019)

(Photo compilation courtesy of Iron-Spider)

* * *

 

**Thirty Two Days...**

It’s been thirty-two days since Titan. Nine since Tony Stark returned to Earth, and the Avengers compound, half dead, starving, and dangerously dehydrated. Three days since he was released from medical. He isn’t up to full strength yet, and tires easily; which is how he’s found himself waking up from yet another nightmare, this time on his sofa. Part of him wants to blame Pepper, for being so blunt and telling him he needs to face his feelings, honor Peter, not hide the memory of him away.

Leave it to Pepper, to hit him with the hard truth — Lord knows she’s the only one he will listen to, even though he won’t always admit it. Ever since he’s returned to some semblance of health, he’s been trying to “forget” the kid, well avoid really, he doesn’t think he can ever forget. He hasn’t returned to his lab, because he knows he’d see the last thing he and Peter were working on — the kid’s unfinished project spread across his designated table.

Tony is desperately trying to hold on to what he does have left — Pepper, Rhodey, the remaining Avengers — though he’s kept the latter at a safe distance, not interacting with them much after their brief reunion. He thinks maybe if he focuses on the things he does have, he’ll be able to have a life, maybe make things better for the people who are left.

Tonight though... well, Pepper, aided by a couple glasses of wine, managed to get Tony to talk. He told her every horrid detail. Fessed up to his feelings of total inadequacy, how he has never felt so beaten, so utterly defeated. He doesn’t know if this is something he can fix and he’s feeling desperate to hold on to what he does have left — her, Rhodey, Happy. He doesn’t dare think about how he might fix things, bring them all back. He doesn’t think he has it in him to face another loss, another failure — because losing again might mean losing Pepper and he couldn’t do that. Ever. 

Tony pushes himself into a seated position, elbows on his knees, head in hands, and tries to catch his breath. God he was getting sick of this — Peter (and Thanos) haunting his dreams. He must have fallen asleep soon after Pepper left him to stew in his thoughts.

It was a variation of the same nightmare that has been haunting him since he left that god forsaken, hell hole of a planet, with Nebula. This time they were at Peter’s graduation party. They were all having a good time, Pepper with their future baby. May, Happy, everyone there bursting with pride for Peter and celebrating the momentous occasion. And then like every nightmare since that day on Titan Tony hears a quiet, “Mr. Stark…” When he turns to find Peter, he watches helplessly as every single person disintegrates, turning to dust. The plates of food and drinks fall, creating a cacophony of shattering glass and porcelain as they hit the floor. The food and liquids mix with the dust — leaving Tony alone and screaming in horror.

Tony squeezes his eyes shut, “It’s just a dream. Just a dream.” He says it out loud to reassure himself, trying to get his breathing under control, trying to stave off a panic attack. He hates this. With a trembling hand, he wipes the sweat from his forehead and stands up. He needs a drink.

The wine glasses and bottle from earlier are on the counter, where Pepper left them. It’s not quite the potency he needs, but there’s still some Malbec left in the bottle. He pours himself half a glass and downs it quickly.

After a few minutes, when the tremors in his hands lessen — he decides to start cleaning up the kitchen, to give himself something else to think about. Tony’s focus on the mundane task slowly work to calm him. He takes his time washing the stemware and appetizer plates. He is careful and precise as he dries each dish, before putting them away. He throws away the empty wine bottle and wipes down the counter, just like he'd seen Pepper do. Satisfied with the now spotless kitchen he notices the wine opener still sitting out. He opens several drawers, trying to remember where it’s supposed to go. He really wishes Pepper would stop rearranging the kitchen, he can never find anything.

Opening the third drawer, which he quickly realizes is a junk/mail drawer he spots a rectangular object. He pulls out a black 5x7 picture frame and flips it over. His grip tightens and his eyes get a little cloudy when he sees the photo of him and Peter, each throwing up bunny ears behind the other’s head.

Tony remembers the day clearly, nearly eight months ago...

———

**_Sometime in early August 2017_ **

Tony’s phone dings several times in a row, notifying him of incoming text messages. He picks it up with a scowl, there is only one person that would blow up his phone this early in the morning. “I’m beginning to regret giving the kid my number.” He grumbles to Pepper, who's sitting in the stool next to him at their kitchen island. “I haven’t even finished my first cup of coffee.”

Pepper rolls her eyes, as she finishes her last bite of yogurt, “Oh please, you love the attention.”

“I do not,” He scoffs. Opening the phone he scrolls through the texts. “Pep, this kid — he wants to know what I’m wearing!”

Pepper laughs and stands up, picking up her bowl. She pauses on the way to the sink to kiss him on the cheek, “So, tell him. He’s just excited, Tony. Today is a big deal for our interns. I thought you were all about encouraging young minds.”

“Uh, yeah, in the abstract, hands off, pat on the back, move along sense. Not this, teenage — tell me what you’re wearing to the dance — nonsense.”

“Oh stop being such a grump and just tell him. He adores you, Tony. Peter’s just nervous and wants to make a good impression.”

And God did that statement terrify him. Tony Stark was not meant to be a role-model or adored — especially by young, impressionable teenage minds. He was a fuck-up of monumental proportions and he was certainly not cut out for this. He was fumbling through this mentorship and terrified of messing up.

“Fine. I’ll tell him, but know that I am doing so under _extreme_ duress.”

Pepper poured herself another cup off coffee, ignoring his dramatics, she says sweetly, “Yes, dear, whatever you say.”

Tony shoots her a disapproving glare, letting her know he does not appreciate her sass. He types out a quick text.

   

> _A black cotton t-shirt and gray sweat pants. You?_
> 
> A few seconds pass, before Peter’s reply comes through. _Hahaha… IMEAN for the luncheon today!_
> 
> Tony taps out a reply, a mischievous smile on his face. God, he loves teasing this kid. _Oooh…dress is formal. I’m wearing a tux._
> 
> _Uhh, would you believe my tux is still at the cleaners? ?_ 😳😳😳
> 
> _Oh well, guess you’ll have to skip it then. Very strict dress code. NO EXCEPTIONS._
> 
> The reply from Peter is immediate, _Dang, guess I’ll let Aunt May know… she’s going to be so disappointed._ 😿
> 
> _Oh? Don’t want to disappoint Aunt Hottie. Guess we can make an exception, this once... Dress is business casual. I’m wearing jeans, T-shirt, blazer._
> 
> _Haha, thanks Mr. Stark! I think I can pull something like that together. Happy is picking us up? 10:30?_
> 
> _Yup. See you soon._ Tony replies.

 

Clicking the screen off he sets the phone on the counter and looks to Pepper, who is putting the dishes in the washer. “How long does this thing last, again?”

“I think a couple hours. I usually only stay to finish lunch, which is longer than your usual 30 minute drop-in, slash meet and greet.” 

“Okay. Maybe I’ll stay for lunch, too. You know, inspire and encourage those bright young minds.”

“They’ll love that, Tony. Everyone is always so excited when you make an appearance. And it's a really good group of kids.”

Pepper walks around the counter and wraps her arms around his shoulders, pressing a soft kiss to his right temple, she says, “I’ll see you in a couple hours. Don’t be late.”

“Uhh, I’m never late!”

“Hmm, I _literally_ have documented hundreds of missed appointments, engagements, and appearances over the last twenty years that say otherwise, but sure, Hon, you’re never late.” Pepper pats him fondly on the back and leans over to pick up her purse sitting on an empty barstool. As she makes her way to the door, she says, “FRIDAY, remind Mr. Stark to be out the door by eleven. Luncheon starts at noon.”

 The AI responds with an obedient, “Yes, Miss Potts, I’ll make sure boss doesn’t forget.”

“That’s so not necessary — I can tell time!” Tony yells in protest, to her retreating back.

“See you in a few hours.” Pepper replies, as the doors to the penthouse elevator doors close.

“FRIDAY, remind me to get ready at 9:45.”

"Yes, boss."

 

* * *

 

The luncheon is held at Stark Industries offices in Mid-town Manhattan. For once, Tony is ten minutes early. When he saunters into Pepper's office, to escort her downstairs — he makes sure to point this fact out to her. 

High School and College-age interns from every applicable department, and two of their guests, are treated to a catered lunch, presented with certificates of participation. The more outstanding interns of each department are recognized with their own official Stark Internship plaques. The afternoon also includes a quick meet and greet with CTO Tony Stark and CEO Pepper Potts, both of whom give a short speech to the attendees and present the awards.

Tony is just a little pleased to see Peter is given special recognition by the Science and Technologies Department. He had decided that Peter should officially join the high school summer internship program, get the kid some real world experience to add to his college applications. Somewhat to his surprise, the kid had jumped at the chance, offering little protest to the proposal, even though it might take away some time from his patrols. Maybe it was because Peter knew that Spider-man is never going to pay the bills, and perhaps, he really did take Tony’s advice to heart.

Tony tried his best not to show favoritism and mostly left Peter under the tutelage of the department’s internship program head. He would never admit to anyone, that he may have, discreetly, checked up on him multiple times a month. And he can’t say he didn’t, occasionally, pull him away for some ‘special assignments’ in his private lab — days spent working on their own projects and consuming copious amounts of pizza. And maybe, just maybe, he brags a little to Pepper when he reads a glowing review from Peter’s supervisor. Yeah, he’s man enough to admit — the kid is doing him proud.

The luncheon passes without a hitch. The awards are handed out, photos are snapped, and Tony gives his off the cuff speech, a mixture of humor and inspiration for the future. Pepper gives her brief introduction and a message about how important Stark Industries views the Internship programs and all their young bright minds. Most years Tony ducks out after the speech and certificate presentations, but this time he stays for lunch, while Pepper takes the opportunity to get back to her office.

Tony assembles a plate of food and makes his way to where he sees Peter sitting with his Aunt, and to his surprise, Happy, plus a couple interns and their parents. He tries to ignore the shocked faces of the other interns when he approaches the table, “This seat taken?”

Peter raises his eyebrows in surprise, “Uh, yeah. I mean, no, all yours, Mr. Stark. I mean, of course it is because you own them—”

Peter stops his nervous rambling at the pointed look Tony sends him. He wonders if the kid will ever not be nervous around him. He sets down his plate and sits in the empty chair next to Peter. He is mildly amused to see Peter wearing a corduroy sport coat, jeans, and a black t-shirt, nearly matching Tony’s own sartorial choices. He says a quick hello to everyone at the table and tries to give them his attention. He’ll never admit he relishes just sitting next to the kid and spending a little more time with him, sharing this day, celebrating his accomplishment.

The longer he sits the more relaxed Peter gets, even cracking a few jokes at Tony’s expense. Something he never would have done a few months ago. He doesn’t miss the way some of the parents, and teens, at the table look between the two of them, surprised by their easy banter and familiarity.

Lunch soon finished, Tony lingers for a little longer — taking more pictures with the interns and their familes. It’s well into mid-afternoon, when he tries to make his exit. He and Pepper have dinner reservations and he needs to get some work done before then.

Before he goes, May Parker pulls him aside. “Tony, would you mind me getting a picture of you and Peter, before you go?”

“Anything, for you Mrs. Parker.” Tony replies, giving her his most charming smile.

Handing his own phone to Happy, who for some reason, which he’ll have to investigate later, is still hanging around, he says, “Take a couple for me too, Hap.”

Tony throws an arm around Peter, who has his award in hand -- at May's insistence -- and pulls him in close. They smile and take multiple pictures with the award, both getting increasingly irreverent, much to May’s amused frustration. Peter even tries to sneak bunny ears — “Bunny ears? Wow, you are a nerd!” Tony teases, while throwing up two fingers behind Peter.

When Tony does finally leave, he is all smiles, with an extra swagger in his step. He’s not sure when spending time with the kid became so important to him and he’s a little frightened by the implications. 

 

* * *

 

The sound of bare feet on the hardwood floor, pulls him out of his memories. He looks up to see Pepper wrapped in her robe, her hair askew from sleep — it’s nearly one in the morning, way past her usual bedtime.

“Tony? Are you coming to bed?“ Pepper asks worriedly from the threshold of the living room. She hesitates when she sees him and steps forward cautiously, into the kitchen. “Hey, you okay?”

He watches her walk toward him, feeling lost and overwhelmed with sadness.He thought he could move on, he told himself he could, but he knows now that he was lying to himself. This isn’t something he can just shove in a drawer, like the picture. He loved that kid and no amount of denial will lessen the pain he feels over his loss.

“Hey…” Pepper’s hand is on his cheek, wiping something wet from under his eye. She takes the picture from his hands and wraps one arm around his waist, holding it for both of them to see. “I forgot about this… It arrived the day you left. There was a card…”

She reaches into the drawer and pulls out a bright red envelope addressed to “Mr. Tony Stark”. She hands it to him, the envelope already open.

He opens the card and sees Peter’s sloppy scrawl: 

  

> _Dear Mr. Stark,_
> 
> _Thank you for everything you do for me. The Stark Internship made my summer and I cannot express how grateful I am for the opportunity. I know how "excited" you were to come to the luncheon and I thought you should have something to remember it by._
> 
> _Sincerely your biggest fan,_
> 
> _Pete_ r
> 
>  

The card blurs and Tony tries to blink away the threatening tears. He drops the card beside the photo and pulls Pepper into a tight hug, burying his face into her shoulder. “I miss him,” he whispers. “He was such a good kid... and I didn't, couldn't —“

Pepper runs a soothing hand down his back, feeling the outline of his ribs, he's still so skinny. “I know. You did everything you could, Tony. I know that, he knew it… and he knew how much you cared for him. Believe me, he did.”

And Tony does know it. He could see it in the way the kid looked at him, the glint of awe in his eyes, that always made him a little uncomfortable because he didn’t know what to do with that kind of admiration. It kills him a little more to know he may never see that look again. He lets the tears fall freely this time, wrapping both arms around Pepper, holding her closer, clinging to one person he still has left…

 

* * *

 

**_Epilogue_ **

The next morning he wakes up to find Pepper already gone from their bed. After his momentary panic, he remembers she had several meetings planned for the first half of the day. He stumbles groggily into the kitchen, seeking espresso and a bite to eat — he’s still feeling as tired and worn as he did the night before.

He’s well into his first cup of espresso, and the breakfast smoothie Pepper left in the refrigerator, when he sees it. The picture of him and Peter is propped up on the counter, next to one of him and Pepper. He’s tempted to put it back in the drawer, but he tries to recall what Pepper said, about remembering and honoring. Moving on, but not forgetting because Peter Parker is not to be forgotten. Peter Park is loved.

 

 

 

**THE END**

 


End file.
